If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.
I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I don’t believe in afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree’ — probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
woody allen quotes
